That would be the backpack. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve employed this handy tool with some frequency at different points in my life. Distributing the load I’m carrying over two shoulders instead of one is better for my back, and assuages my fears of becoming lopsided from carrying everything on my right shoulder all the time. I also love that a backpack leaves my hands free to ward off predators . . . okay really I just want my hands free to gesticulate wildly.
As handy as a backpack can be, I’ve come to loathe them. Or at least the people who where them. Apparently, before one is allowed to purchase a backpack, they are given a spatial awareness test. If they pass, they are forbidden from completing the purchase. How is it possible that no one seems to realize that when they put something on their back (or over their shoulder) it actually protrudes? I dodge these hunchbacks on a daily basis. Usually I’m successful, but the closer they come, the more irritated I become.
So, here’s a little educational info for users of public transit:
- When you put a backpack on your back, it does not magically meld into your torso, allowing you to take up the exact same amount of space as you do naked
- When you put a large bag over your shoulder, it often extends out further than your body
- When you carry a large umbrella horizontally, you are effectively wielding a weapon
What are the odds of the millions of people who need this information actually receiving it and understanding that it applies to them?
That’s what I thought.
Perhaps I’ll invest in body armor.
2 comments:
That's why I live in the sticks. Plenty of space, few space cadets.
Or at least the space cadets are spaced out enough that they don't bump into each other, right?
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