Last night there was an adorable little boy sitting across from me on the subway. (My best guess is that he was 18-24 months old.) He couldn’t stop laughing and smiling at me, even when I was just sitting there. So of course I played along. His mom got in on the action by holding her son’s hands over his eyes so he was playing peek-a-boo back. Somewhere along the way he got a little too rambunctious. I hadn’t noticed, but I know this to be the case because his mom started reprimanding him. Apparently when the little boy got laughing, he was bumping into the man seated next to him. Mom considered this extremely rude. When the boy didn’t immediately stop, she pinched the back of his leg. And big tears started rolling down his cheeks.
This is not the first time I found myself in this situation. Last fall I witnessed a little girl on the bus get slapped by her mother after I got her too wound up.
So now I’m wondering if I’m to blame. Neither of these children was behaving in a way that I thought required correction, let alone physical reprimand, so I’m not sure I could have predicted this outcome.
Should I just go back to reading Scottish Life and pretending that I don’t see anyone?
5 comments:
The mothers' poor choice of discipline is not your fault. It's hard when little kids want to play and are trapped in a confining, potentially dangerous area, surrounded by strangers. I'm not sure what I'd do as a mother, but I know I received enough pinches and slaps (and worse) to not ever want to do that to my child.
Maybe next time you just don't let it escalate quite so much? Be more aware of the rambunctious behavior (maybe the mom will give some subtle clues) and stop before it goes too far.
I don't blame you - kids are fun, and the subway is boring.
I've always notice a lack of human interaction when I am vacationing in big cities an using pulic transportation. It seems so awkward. I'm not the most socially outgoing person but as a communication specialist I recognize that our ability to communicate verbally and nonverbally is what makes us uniquely human. So my vote would be to stay human. Dont pretend that others aren't there because they are. Maybe that one little smile is all that happened positive to that child today (let's hope not!)
On a very late bus in Miami one night, a older, ethnic man observed our 2 year old melting down. He pointed to her, then pointed to himself, then gave a little spanking gesture. Although it's a very vivid memory to us and we joke about it now, I can't say that it was entertaining at the moment. Silly facial expression might serve you better ;)
That’s what dumbfounded me most Daria: I didn’t think either of these kids appeared to be overly rambunctious. And both times the moms went from smiling, “isn’t it cute that this lady is making my kid laugh” to “this behavior has to be stopped” in the blink of an eye.
Courtney, I think one of the reasons I engage with the kids is that adults are openly shocked when I smile at them. They have no idea how to react (or maybe they just think I’m insane or a tourist). At least most of the kids haven’t learned to shun human interaction yet.
A wonderful and wise friend of mine once made fun of me for smiling at "grown-ups" we passed on the NYC streets... and then laughed when the audio recording at Ellis Island confirmed that my constant smiling was a sign of insanity. I say... let them think you are crazy and Smile! xoxo
A very wise friend indeed. And while I may agree that the smiling is good, I stand by the presumption of insanity.
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