I Blame the Bureaucracy

Like so many moves before this one, I’ve been in the midst of the minutia.  Utilities and boxes and whatnot.  Yesterday was set to be my favorite kind of day: productive.  I had a late breakfast around 10:30, then headed out to donate blood.  After donating, I ate a cookie and drank an extra bottle of water, then headed on my way.  First stop was city hall to pay the excise tax on my car (is it just me, or does excise tax sound like something over which our entire nation revolted?).

 

The next stop was the DMV (or rather, the BMV since Maine likes to do things differently).  If all went according to plan, I could register my car, get a license, and register to vote.  I took a number and it only took a moment to realize that I would be there for a while; my number was 174 and they called 125 shortly after I arrived.  Thank heaven for a smart phone.  I killed nearly an hour reading Facebook updates and catching up on Words With Friends.  I considered going home and trying another time, but the longer I stayed the more I felt I had to stay.  I ransacked my purse and found my emergency granola bar.

 

My number was called around 3:30—nearly two hours after I arrived—and I raced to the window the second I heard it.  We took care of the registration first and then the license.  I wrote him a check, then started to write my new license number on my voter registration form.  But as I did so, my head began to spin.  And I had the sudden overwhelming feeling that I was going to vomit.  I was so close to leaving this land of limbo—I knew I just had to hold on for a couple more minutes but I wasn’t sure I could.  I put my head in my hands and the clerk asked me if I was alright.  I told him that I really wasn’t feeling well.  (You know it’s bad if I’m being that honest with a stranger.)  He continued processing my paperwork then asked me again if I was okay.  I answered, “No.”  He started to come around the counter and the next thing I knew I was on the floor with four or five strangers around me, and the BMV clerk was offering to call an ambulance. 

 

I have no recollection of how I went from standing to sitting but I heard later that the clerk and another customer caught me.  When I came to, a lovely woman named Paige was rubbing my back and giving me Vitamin Water.  A few minutes later I realized that I was drinking from someone else’s bottle, and I didn’t even care.  Paige assured me that I had no need to be embarrassed because we’ve all been there.  As nice as she was, I’ve got to wonder what her experience has been like.  Several people jokingly asked the clerk what he did to me, while a customer informed me I had made his wait much more interesting.  A supervisor from the BMV insisted on bringing me cookies and again asked if I needed an ambulance.  After sitting on the floor for five minutes, then in a chair for another ten, I went to have my picture taken.  I really shouldn’t have been surprised that it’s the absolute worst picture I’ve ever seen of myself, but at least this time there’s an excuse and perhaps in time it will turn into an amusing memory.

 

If you’re looking for a moral to this story, I offer:

• When donating blood, it’s a good idea to eat lunch.
• In a heat wave, it’s a good idea to stay hydrated.
• And finally, if you’re going to pass out in public, it’s a good idea to do it in Maine.

Resurfacing

Since I’m being all bossy you won’t be surprised when I tell you to read part 1 and part 2 before reading this final installment in the trilogy. Don’t worry, I won’t come back in 20 years and add a bunch of prequels.

 

As my doubts about teaching grew, I started reconsidering life in the corporate world. I wasn’t completely against it but I wasn’t feeling sure that it was right either. Late one night (and yes, I tend to make major life decisions when I’m overtired and world-weary) I indulged a whim and changed the address on my resume, testing a theory. Less than a week later, I received a request to interview for a position in Maine. I was giddy with excitement, even though the HR contact warned me they would be moving very slowly (she was telling the truth).

 

At the end of May I woke up one morning and indulged in one of my bad habits: reading email in bed before doing anything else. But I woke up quickly; there was an email from another company in Maine asking about my availability for an interview, with a seemingly-innocuous question at the end: “And just to clarify, you now live in Portland . . . ?” Without meaning to or realizing it, a very pleasant HR professional forced my hand. Still in bed, I went round and round in my head about how best to answer. And then the light bulb came on: I should just decide to move to Maine and answer truthfully that I’m in the process of moving. Which is exactly what I did. As luck would have it, my lease ends on June 30. And everything else fell into place as simply as that, as though something in the cosmos was waiting for me to come to this decision.

 

My feelings about leaving NYC are similar to my feelings about leaving Orange County: I can absolutely see myself coming back here quite happily. Even with a year dedicated largely to getting the most out of this city, I’m still just scratching the surface. But as amazing as this city is, I’m thrilled to finally be heading home.

Splashing Down

If you haven’t already, read my previous post for part 1 of this saga.

 

Some friends didn’t believe that I didn’t have a plan in mind when I left my job, but I really didn’t. I spent most of last fall consumed with research: attending information sessions, talking to people about their careers and passions, and spending more time on Google than anyone can consider healthy. Within about two months I was thinking seriously about teaching. When I was younger I’d always planned on teaching.  And I’ve loved the times I’ve conducted training in the corporate world. I began volunteering as an SAT tutor, and my time in the classroom was just as fulfilling as I had imagined.

 

I visited every grad school in Manhattan and started pulling transcripts together. Then a dear friend recommended I look into New York City Teaching Fellows (NYCTF), an alternative certification program. It was a perfect fit. In the summer I would begin training, complete my student teaching, and enroll in a (generously subsidized) master’s program. In September I would be teaching in my very own classroom.

 

The application process was more intense than getting into college but, at the beginning of this year, I was accepted to become a secondary math teacher. But the closer it got to the beginning of training, the less sure I became that this was the right path for me. Corporate training and tutoring were great, but those students wanted to be there. And they already had their basic needs met. Neither of those things would always be the case for the students I would encounter in a high-needs NYC classroom. It just didn’t feel the way I wanted or expected it to. And so, two weeks before training was scheduled to start, I dropped out.

Jumping off the High Dive

"Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience." –Jerry Maguire

No, that’s not exactly how it happened for me, but the emotions were similar. Last June I had the sudden unnerving sensation that I was on the wrong track. My career was taking me away from fulfillment instead of toward it. My immediate impulse was to update my resume, work my network, and make a move. And I started down that path. But in a brief, blinding moment of sanity, I took a breath. The last two job moves I’d made had been big and hasty. And in hindsight, neither of those moves had been exactly right. So, I took another breath and realized that was what I needed: to breathe. For a good, long time. Then I did the bravest craziest smartest stupidest most freeing thing I’ve ever done: I left my job in order to do nothing. Which left me feeling a lot like Hugh Grant’s character in About a Boy.

This is my 48th week of not being burdened with employment. When I left work, there was a thought deep in my subconscious that I would become bored within about three months. But that didn't happen. Most weeks I've been so busy that I wasn't sure I would have had time for a job if I'd wanted one. With so much going on, you'd think I'd write a blog post or two, right? Part of me wanted to. But I didn't want to put this online until I knew how the story would end. The fact that this post is here, means I know now. And I never saw it coming.

Not a Trend . . . Yet

Back in my Black Belt days, I spent a fair amount of time reminding people that two data points do not constitute a trend.  In case you’re wondering, you need six data points for that.  But, when you find yourself in the same incredibly rare situation more than once, it’s hard not to wonder if something bigger is going on.

Eight years ago I started a new job that happened to come with an office (at least for the first year).  One day shortly after I started I put a conference call on speaker, and closed my door so I wouldn’t disturb anyone.  When the call was over I walked over to open my door, but the door wouldn’t open.  Hoping this could be solved simply, I IM’d a coworker and asked him to come talk to me.  He tried to open the door from the outside and thought I was playing a joke on him.  He called building services for me and kept up a play by play over IM.  This was not terribly useful.  Case in point: about 30 seconds after I witnessed a ceiling tile mysteriously slide to the side and a pair of legs dangle from above, I received a message stating, “They’re coming in.”  My new office mate walked over to the door, flipped the lock, and seemed genuinely surprised when the door wouldn’t open.  Did he really believe I hadn’t tried that?  While I don’t remember how long it took to resolve, I do recall that it took two workers—one on the inside and one on the outside—and full removal of the door knob and lock, to open the door.

I was running about two minutes late yesterday morning, trying desperately to make up time.  When I finally made it to my door, the handle just spun.  I checked the locks, thinking maybe I’d missed something.  But no, it wasn’t the lock, and the door wouldn’t budge.  I immediately called downstairs, explained my situation, and waited for a porter to come to my rescue.  A knock on the door came a few minutes later.  For what it’s worth, it’s very strange to have someone knock on your door and not be able to open it.  I slid a key out to him and he let himself in.  He quickly assessed the situation and called someone else.  It was less than twenty minutes from the time I attempted to leave until I finally made my exit, but they were a rather strange twenty minutes.  I may have checked that the doorknob was functioning a handful of times yesterday afternoon.

The thing is, I’ve never met anyone else who has ever been locked inside.  I’ve never even met anyone who knows anyone else who has been locked in.  And now it’s happened to me twice.  Here’s to hoping I don’t have four more of these waiting for me.

It Came Around

I just returned from one of the most enjoyable weekends I’ve experienced in recent memory—I went to England to spend time with my oldest friend and her oh-so-sweet baby.  For my return trip I arrived at the airport with plenty of time to spare, so I indulged in one last round of British food.  Since I needed to reduce my supply of Pounds Sterling, I paid in cash.  I found a sunny spot to sit and tucked into my breakfast. 

Once I’d finished, I straightened up my purse and wallet and discovered that, unfortunately, I had £5 less than I should have.  I thought back over my morning: paying the taxi driver and getting change, purchasing my food—and surmised that I had given the man at the food counter £11.70, not £6.70 as I had intended.  In turn, he gave me change as though I had paid him £6.70.  I went over every possibility in my head and realized that was the only plausible scenario.  

At this point it had been at least 15 minutes since I’d made my purchase.  I turned to look at the checkout area and saw that there was a long line.  I checked the line every minute or so, and it never seemed to get any shorter.  I looked at my watch.  In a few minutes I should head to the gate area.  Was it worth it to even ask the question?  I decided to give it my best.  I found a break in the line and jumped in.

Me: I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s too late to do anything about it, but I believe I gave you £10 instead of £5

Checkout Dude: You know, I just found a £10 note in the £5 slot. I wondered what happened.
Me: I meant to give you £5. I’m so terribly sorry.
Checkout Dude: So, how much do I owe you?
Me: £5

And with that, he handed over £5.

I’ve always been a big believer in karma.  It’s one of the main reasons I often try to do the right thing—I simply don’t want to deal with payback down the road.   You might recall that I had a similar experience in November of 2008.  So, if you’ve ever wondered how long it takes the universe to return $10 (or £5), it looks like the answer is just about three years.

Comeuppance

As I may have mentioned before, I’m a bit of a late adopter.  My TV screen is not flat. My car (when I had one) did not have GPS.  And, until quite recently, my phone flipped open.  The phone became a bit of an issue.  Since my new job involves social media, everyone in my office has the latest and greatest in calling wizardry.  Left to my own devices, I probably would have upgraded eventually.  Probably.  But I quickly realized that not upgrading might prove to be a career-limiting move.

I ordered my Fancy New Phone (FNP) and immediately put the unopened box on the bottom shelf of the coffee table, where it remained for the better part of a month.  When I finally activated it, the heavens did not open and light did not suddenly fill my benighted life.

But there were little things:

• Two friends and I arrived at a theater only to discover that the movie we wanted to see was sold out.  I pulled out the FNP, found where else the movie was playing, bought tickets for the next showing, and got directions to the theater.
• A few weeks later I was casually shopping and couldn’t remember where a particular store was.  FNP to the rescue; and yes, I had been walking in the wrong direction.
• Last night I turned on my laptop to look for airline tickets.  After a few minutes I saw a pop-up that Security Shield had been installed, and everything on my laptop stopped working.  I tried every trick I could think of, and nothing was getting me anywhere closer to a functioning computer.  Try finding solutions online when your browser doesn’t work.  In desperation, I pulled out the FNP, searched for help, and found very specific instructions on how to fix my problem.  They actually worked. 

I don’t think that the outcome in any of these scenarios would have been drastically different without the FNP.  I could have called Moviefone and found those tickets.  I would have walked around a couple blocks and found the store eventually.  And I simply would have lived without my laptop for the night and, after a fretful night convinced that I would loose everything on it, used my work computer to find a solution.   No, the outcome wasn’t different, but it sure is easier to get there with my FNP.

Just don’t tell anyone I said that.