No Time to be Picky

A few years ago, my brother had just started dating a woman who was clearly not good enough for him. (Biased much, little sis?) After hearing a voicemail left by this woman on my sister’s answering machine, I said something about her being crazy. To which my sister responded to my brother, “You’re almost 40; you can’t afford to be picky.” I don’t recall how I responded at the time, but I know what I thought:

• You’re almost 40; there’s a lot more crazy out there to weed through.
• You’re almost 40; you’ve avoided getting tied to the wrong person so far, don’t blow it now.
• You’re almost 40; you won’t have as many years to recover if a relationship turns out to be horribly wrong.
• You’re almost 40; it’s time to be pickier than ever.
  

I thought of this brief encounter in the kitchen today because of a conversation I had with a colleague who shares my job status (there aren’t many of us out there in my particular situation). We jointly wondered how to balance being open to opportunities while trying to protect the lives we want. I can hear the practical angel on my shoulder saying, “Your job ends in October, you can’t afford to be picky.” And then my true self pipes up:

• I’ve put my life on hold for three years; shouldn’t I get some sort of return on that investment?
• I’ve put my life on hold for three years; if I take the wrong job now, am I just maintaining the instability?
• I’ve put my life on hold for three years; if I settle now, was it all for naught?
  

Lots of questions. So far, no answers.